About 9 months ago I was working 50 – 60 hours per week at the office on a regular basis. Things at work were hectic and I wanted to be helpful. The production team at work was having to put in lots of time and, subsequently, I was putting out a lot of fires. I was also working 10 – 25 hours per week in the evenings as a graphic designer. Kristin and I told ourselves that it was just a season. We were (and still are) trying to get out of debt, which honors the Lord. We were (and still are) trying to save for a house, which is a wise investment. I thought our response to the needs of others and some of our own needs was fairly healthy. Things were hard and life was stressful, but sometimes you need to “play hurt.”
It didn’t take too long before the commitments begun waring on my relationship with my wife, my daughter, and most importantly my God. We were taking a walk around White Rock Lake one afternoon when a question was impressed upon my heart…
Is this truly a healthy response to a brief season of stress, or am I setting the pattern for our life right now?
Here are a couple of things that struck me:
- Busyness is in the air we breath. It’s just our culture and there is no reason to believe that will change.
- Bosses generally appreciate long hours more than effective problem solving. This will also probably never change.
- The ability to consistently solve problems and execute effective solutions requires a balanced life.
- We are extremely limited in our capacity to grasp how small we are and how short life is. Won’t change much.
- What seems urgent usually is not.
- What seems like it can wait usually shouldn’t.
- Most people will never realize any of this and will therefore never value what you value.
- Long-term success will mean saying no to a lot of people and only saying yes to the right people.
- Often, for me, saying yes is driven by a desire to elevate how others see me. This needs to change.
Kristin and I have struggled to count the cost of giving our time to Jesus. It’s hard for me to not always pitch in and work longer hours to help clean up messes I didn’t cause. But I’ve found that when I repeatedly do, people don’t learn to stop making those messes.
It’s hard for me to say no to extra work and extra income. An extra 20 hours per week freelancing could annihilate our school debt in one year and put us in a house. But when does it end? In this culture of consumerism it’s foolish to think we aren’t always going to struggle with wanting more. If we’re not serving Jesus now – a house won’t help that. Getting out of debt honors Jesus, but it’s not the gospel.
This 15 minute snippet from Mark Driscoll on the habits (good and bad) of extremely successful people was pretty encouraging to me today. It’s hi-res, so I suggest you start downloading and then come back to it in a little bit.
Matt, I am glad you have the ability to slow down and realize what is important in life. Too often we think tell ourselves “just one more week/month/etc and we’ll be good.” But humans are creatures of habit, and we willingly default to a routine. This is not a bad thing itself, but obviously can be if the situation into which you settle is not to your benefit.
Congratulations, and good luck with the road ahead!
Good point. We were always in the same boat. In 2005, I was really busy freelancing a lot. I got burned out. I basically took the entire year of 2006 off. Now I’m freelancing again to help pay for some of our home improvements and other things, but I’m wondering how long this will be good for our family. It’s a constant struggle isn’t it. I think I’ll take another good long break in December and the months that follow when we have a new baby.
Nathan Smith told me about you and gave me the link to your site. Love it!