Sevyn turns one

Sevyn Grace turns one year old today! We have a rich tradition in our home of eating birthday cake for breakfast. Not some kind of breakfasty coffee-cake - no, we eat a full-on cake-cake, smothered in gooey frosting. It’s a fantastic way to celebrate life.

Yesterday our agency delivered a stack of cards Gracie’s birth-mom had written for her. One of them was a birthday card in which she included the candle shown in the photo. She asked that we place it in her cake on her birthday.

Again, I am reminded of how far-reaching adoption is. It is so much larger than hour household. My experience of what “family” is has changed forever. My hopes for our children and for our home have broadened considerably.

What has been most apparent is my own selfishness and laziness. The other night Jaimes I was sitting in the rocking chair with Gracie - just totally dog-tired. Jaimes was entertaining us (as she’s prone to do) by dancing around like a fairy princess while making up a “princess song.” She asked me to do a princess dance. That was the last thing I wanted to do, much less peel myself out of the rocking chair. I went back and forth with her about it for a minute or so and finally conceded to performing an interpretive fairy princess dance.

Not only should I have recognized she needed that attention and interaction from me and jumped right up at her first request, I should be proactively seeking ways to serve my kids. Not only should I gladly entertain their play no matter how silly it makes me feel, I should plan some play of my own. Intentional, imaginative, Christ-focused play.

It’s very easy to make this adoption, at best - all about Gracie, and at worst - all about me. I want to constantly remember that adoption, parenting, and family are about seeing God - not serving myself.

And they drove off into the sunset…

that was how we went home on Friday.  Driving off into the beautiful sunset with our car packed with every item from Gracie’s life, Gracie in the backseat, Matt reading a letter from her birthmom, music that I remember playing was a Shane and Shane song, “we love you Jesus, for so many reasons…”. I kept thinking about how deep God’s grace is to us.  To say it was amazing would be unjust, words can’t express.  Our time of waiting for our daughter was finally over.  It was a beautiful moment.  I basked in it I knew that life here in this world wouldn’t stay peaceful and beautiful forever.  It is beautiful but messy.  We came home and had a celebration with my parents, played Jaimes’ new harmonica, and had some Sara Lee Cheesecake.

It was a great weekend, a dear friend stopped by and had lunch with us on Saturday and then we had dinner at Logan’s with my parents as another celebration.  Sunday was also good for everyone at homegroup to meet Gracie.  At first she wasn’t sure about everyone but was very excited to see another little one, 3 mth old, Wyatt.

Monday was a different story.  A hard day.  My first day flying solo.  I think I came down with something yesterday.  My sin was shown in everything I did.  Gracie is grieving her fostermom and is a total daddy’s girl.  Jaimes was acting out.  It made me so sad to see her want to hug Gracie but not recipricated.  Just life happening.  Things that need to be worked out, transition period taking place, a new schedule to figure out, grace needed but not felt.  I know I need to be easy on myself, this is just my way of being honest with me and you.

Today is Tuesday and even though I don’t feel good it’s a better day than yesterday.  Both girls are taking a nap, the rain is still coming down, I have some Kristin time, the cool air is refreshing to feel today.

My Ergo came today!!

Pretty excited to get Gracie in it.  Hopefully we’ll have pics of that very soon!

2 days and counting

This week has worn me out.  Tomorrow we start our two day seminar for our agency.  I’m not even sure what to expect but I am so tired from this week I’m not looking forward to is just because I will miss seeing Jaimes in the afternoon.  The best part is that I’ll be sitting next to Matt for next two days.  Friday we will bring Gracie home forever!  I have a mess of emotions that are all tied up with what that means.

Pray for His grace to get us through.

cheerios

Saturday night was Gracie’s first overnight. This has been an emotional week - dealing with awkward and tense relationships, lots of driving, lots of questions, and little sleep. This moment with the girls on Sunday morning was beautifully mundane.